Finding a Faculty Mentor and Building a Strong Relationship

Finding the right faculty mentor can shape your entire graduate experience. It affects the projects you work on, the skills you develop, the confidence you build and your post-graduation opportunities. But most of us enter grad school not fully knowing how to approach faculty or what a strong mentoring relationship actually looks like. 

Here’s what I’ve learned—both from experience and from watching my peers—about finding a good mentor and creating a meaningful relationship.

Start with your interests, not the faculty list. 

There’s a fine line between selecting a faculty member based solely on reputation and seeking out professors whose work aligns with your own interests. The best approach is to start with a list of topics you’re passionate about. Look for intersections with faculty research and stay open-minded when forming initial judgments. Research is often interdisciplinary, and finding a combination of topics that overlaps with your interests can be a great opportunity. Also, keep in mind that professors often shift their focus over their careers. Make sure to check their current work, not just papers from years ago. 

Look for fit, not fame. 

A good mentor isn’t always the most cited, the most experienced or the most funded faculty member. Look for someone who has the time, interest and track record of guiding students. Mid-career faculty often strike the best balance: They are established enough to support you but still hands-on with their group. This is obviously subjective to your requirements.  

Use their work as ice breakers. 

Before emailing a professor, read a few of their papers. You don’t need to understand everything; if anything is unclear, it can spark natural conversation. Your first email can follow a simple structure: Here’s what I’m interested in → here’s how your work overlaps → here’s what I can contribute. Remember: Less is more. 

Also, check their lab website as it often indicates whether they’re looking for new students. Personalization is key, and ideally, you should tailor each email. However, If you’re contacting many professors, it’s okay to balance personalization with efficiency. One rule I follow is that the level of personalization should be inversely proportional to the number of emails you need to send. In other words, the more emails sent, the less personalized each one can be. 

Treat the first meeting as a two-way interview. 

You are not just trying to impress them; you're also assessing whether they’re the right mentor for you. Ask questions like: 

How often do you meet with your students?

What are your expectations for new graduate researchers?

How independent do you expect students to be?

Their answers tell you more than any lab website ever can. This is also the point where you should ask questions about their current work and if they are exploring any new avenues. 

Take it slow and build trust gradually. 

Just as you need time to understand your mentor, they need time to understand you. A strong relationship grows through consistent interaction. Start with a small project, have regular check-ins and update them when you encounter challenges. Over time, they’ll trust you with more responsibility, and you’ll better understand their mentoring style. 

Learn their communication style. 

Pay attention to your mentor's communication style and expectations. Understanding whether they emphasize independent work or expect regular updates on all lab activities helps you interact effectively and build rapport. At the same time, don’t hesitate to communicate your own preferences. 

Give something back. 

Mentoring is a two-way relationship. While you learn from your mentor, you also need to give back. Take part in lab work, help with common tasks and share thoughtful feedback. Active participation shows you care about the work of the lab and your own progress. 

Maintain the relationship beyond the project. 

Your connection with a mentor does not end when the project is over. It is important to stay in touch, even after leaving the lab. Share updates on your work and reach out when you need guidance. Keeping the relationship active helps you continue learning from their experience over time. 

Strong mentoring relationships are built on time, regular interaction and open communication. A good mentor doesn’t just guide your projects—they shape how you approach research and your future.  With the right approach, your mentor can continue to support and inspire you long after grad school.