Learning to Ask for Help in a Graduate Program

Asking for help can feel unexpectedly difficult as a graduate student. You are adjusting to a new environment, yet it is easy to feel that you should already know how everything works. During my first month at Tufts, I have been learning to be more comfortable reaching out. Before Tufts, I attended a small liberal arts college where I majored in mathematics. By the time I graduated, I knew the professors in my department well, and attending office hours was a regular part of my routine. Sometimes I went with questions about class. Other times, I discussed graduate school plans or simply stopped by for a conversation. Those relationships developed over several years, and I knew whom to approach when I needed guidance. 

Starting a graduate program means building that familiarity again. There are new professors and classmates to get to know, along with different expectations and routines. I sometimes felt pressure to have things figured out already, particularly when revisiting material I studied years ago or sharing a classroom with undergraduates. It is easy to think, “I’m supposed to know this already.” But studying a topic before does not mean remembering every detail or having understood it fully the first time. Returning to it with questions can help develop that understanding. It also helps to remember that graduate students arrive with different backgrounds. Some begin immediately after their undergraduate degrees, while others return after years of work. We have studied different topics and developed different strengths. Recognizing those differences helps me focus on what I need to learn rather than comparing my preparation with what someone else appears to know. 

Some adjustments have been more practical. After not taking timed exams for a while, I found myself struggling to finish within the allotted time. Seeking advice on exam strategies initially felt unnecessary. Surely, completing an undergraduate degree meant I should know how to manage an exam. Yet conversations with professors helped me consider ways to use my time more effectively. I also learned that other graduate students faced similar difficulties, especially those who had been away from the classroom longer than I had. Becoming comfortable with exams again takes practice. These experiences have encouraged me to make office hours a regular part of my learning at Tufts. I go to clarify concepts, discuss difficult problem set questions, or revisit material I have not fully understood. Sometimes, I go simply to introduce myself and get to know a professor. In my experience so far, professors have welcomed these conversations and helped me work through my questions. Each visit helps build the relationships that make asking for help feel so natural. 

Support at Tufts also extends beyond the classroom. The StAAR Center offers one-on-one academic success coaching, available on campus and remotely, to graduate students in Arts and Sciences, including SMFA, Engineering, and Fletcher. Graduate writing consultations are also available for a wide range of graduate-level writing projects, and regular appointments are especially recommended for first-year graduate students, multilingual writers, and students working on a thesis, qualifying papers, or a dissertation. Writers Block, a weekly writing accountability group, along with graduate writing workshops and retreats, offers opportunities to develop a regular writing practice. The StAAR Center also provides support in public speaking and presentation skills, and graduate students can find tutoring to strengthen the foundational knowledge required for courses in mathematics, computer science, and statistics. You do not need to wait until your workload feels overwhelming to use these resources. A conversation with a professor can help you move past a question, while a writing consultation or coaching appointment can help you approach a project more confidently. Seeking support can be a regular part of your academic routine, even when things are going well. 

I am still learning to work more independently while becoming comfortable asking for help in a new environment. There is sometimes a moment of hesitation before I raise a question that I feel like I should already be able to answer. But each conversation makes the next one easier. For other students making this transition, I hope this offers some reassurance: you do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out. A question you have been hesitant to ask is already a good place to begin.